I am lucky enough to have two friends from two different periods of my life now living on two different coasts who are both amazing musicians and songwriters. My friend Matt, from college, now in California, has written many the fine song and gained some attention with his band MADRONA, and I have a huge catalogue of his projects that I have collected over the years. Now, like this week, my friend Sam, from junior high, now in Rhode Island, has chimed into the musical conversation with a stellar four song EP called “You got to” by his band the #a! ones.
Fortunately, none of Sam’s songs were about me. This sounds like a presumption of major intensity but bare with me. I have a point in here somewhere. You see, unlike many the critic who would go the distance to argue why their friends make the best music around while claiming objectivity I will do away with such pretense and just be a fan. But I will tell you that having song writers for friends can be confusing for the schizophrenic.
My MADRONA collection is deep. I have work by Matt spanning ten years, totaling fourteen different CDs and DVDs that he has worked on for many, many hours. Sam’s output is small in comparison, one seven inch purple marble vinyl record with four songs. For what Sam lacks in range he makes up for in aesthetic appeal, but that is by no way a slight of MADRONA. The two bands musical styles are so different and their intent so varied I really wouldn’t tell you whose music I like better. Such an act would be destructive, insensitive, and in the end pointless, you should hear them both to decide for yourself. (Shameless plug right there).
I will say I like the #a! ones for their crazy band name, a great choice in this day of internet look ups and market dynamic sensitivities. You have to get their name wrong, because I don’t think I’m sure of what it is, or what it refers to. This is a pure punk move, the unmarketable name, and the music they make fully delivers on the promise. Part Black Flag, totally original, with some Circle Jerks, and even a little Rancid so the younger people will know the names I am dropping are important, “You got to” is thrashing, unafraid to be melodic, hardcore, and I couldn’t help but love it. Sam, back in junior high, turned me on to punk rock almost singlehandedly, making bootleg cassette tapes for me I played over and over until they fell away into dust. Now, some twenty two years later, his songs could go side by side with the classics on those early compilations and the music would flow perfectly. For those of you who don’t do vinyl, you really should. Even on my crappy record player the sound is immediate and nostalgic all at the same time. Plus it’s marbled purple! I mean, that is awesome.
MADRONA will always hold a very special place in my heart. Matt and I were in bands together, he taught me how to play guitar for hell’s sake, so I can’t help but love everything he does. I know one song he wrote with MADRONA is about me, a crazy ditty in thirteen time, called, yes, One Past Order. I like to think other songs he writes are about me at times too, especially the really harsh ones about greedy pigs and out of control egos. Such is most likely my paranoia overreaching a little, and I should be happy with one amazing song about me, but I can explain.
My illness, when I am ill, not today of course, schizophrenia in check, even convinced me that New Found Glory, a band I have no connection with and who I think exclusively writes love songs about girlfriends, also wrote a song about me. Yes, I was convinced. New Found Glory in addition to other minor acts like U2, Smashing Pumpkins, and Paramour, all writing songs for me, so what is that all about?
I can tell you, when someone has schizophrenia, like I do, they break with reality, like I have. One of the interesting things we do is lose our proper frame of reference. All kinds of media become very confusing. Any reference to “you”, just the plain old second person pronoun, sounds like the song writer is talking to the schizophrenic. Even “I” the more innocuous first person pronoun, sounds like it refers to the schizophrenic during sing alongs. He, it, we, they, yes, all of these seem personal indeed to the deluded hallucinating mind. (Blink 182 has a song called Adam’s Song which I thought was about my friend, Chris). I have met a schizophrenic who claimed to have written all of the songs the Supremes are famous for, (songs stolen from her of course); and even one interesting lady who knew that ALL the songs on the radio were about her.
Now think about that for a second. It’s not a problem when a love song makes you think of your love, or a party song makes you think of one time in school, but can you imagine thinking every song is about you? Creeping Death by Metallica comes to mind, as does Lithium by Nirvana, don’t even get me started about how confusing Jets to Brazil can be for a schizophrenic emo kid, I mean it’s tragic.
When we are medicated the world falls away, and we realize how unimportant and small we are, and that can be scary too.
Fortunately for us there is a band that I think tries, and has succeeded, in sounding like a psychotic episode. This might seem like a stock answer, but I have really given this a lot of thought, and I say Slayer, yes, crazy old Slayer, play music that sounds like I am losing my mind. Depending on my mood I can find them very calming.
So what does this have to do with Sam’s record or MADRONA? Not a lot. I just love being back in the world of the sane, thinking nothing has anything to do with me ever, and living my life as if such were the case. Sam’s stuff has little to do with me, and everything to do with him. I celebrate his success, as I celebrate all my friends who have made my life a lot more musical.
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